“What Is Neglectful Narcissism? 7 Ways To Spot It”
there’s a very common pattern inside narcissism that i want you to be aware of and it’s the pattern of
neglect, in fact we’ll go ahead and call it uh neglectful narcissism… First of all people who are very
covert in their narcissism, they do this neglectful narcissism left and right,
the covert narcissist is so into themselves, but they don’t want to make themselves vulnerable, so they can just
quietly sabotage this and the other with respect to all sorts of relational goals uh the overt narcissist may be into
their vanity they may be very dominant and overwhelming and persuasive, they too can go into the neglectful
style of narcissism, either way it’s extremely common to thepoint of being central to what it means to be narcissistic. In
addition to their need for control their, self-centeredness, their entitlement, their attitude of superiority,
the neglectful narcissist has a strong message that they want to send other individuals and that is simply this: I don’t care
about you, your needs, your feelings, they just don’t even register, have you ever been on the receiving end of that
kind of treatment and it can be so debilitating and so insulting and if you sit down and try to talk with them about
making adjustments you’re going to get the doesn’t matter uh reaction and truly you realize that the these folks they
can neglect you left and right and you’re wanting to have some sort of nurturance from them it’s like nope: I don’t do that that’s just not in my nature now there are seven primary indicators that i want you to be aware of because knowledge is power and i want you to see that these are certain things that they’re going to do repetitively, it’s just part of their
predictability and it’s so important for you to recognize this is not about you they’re playing out their own pathology on to you, but it’s not a commentary about who you are as a person, okay, now one of the first indicators that we
can say uh of neglectful narcissism is they’re blind to or at the very least they’re disinterested in your humanity
now i use that word humanity very specifically your humanity includes so many different ingredients i mean it can be something like the the temperament type that you bring to the equation we all have a different temperament type
and i’m sure many of you have been into those kind of things it’s quite interesting you have a unique set of circumstances
that you draw upon from your past some pluses some minuses you have a whole array of interests uh that are a part of who you
are you have needs you have struggles you have things that you think are funny you have things that
you take very seriously, all of that goes into your humanity and when you say well i’d like to engage
with you on all of that i’d like to know you in that level and i want you to know me at that level that neglectful narcissist is like no, i’m too busy tending the million i don’t really care and you’ll notice that they they they truly
don’t really want to know that much about you you’re just an entity you’re someone to be used but you’re not someone to get to know and uh and they they let you know not interested i don’t want to invest myself into that feature a second
primary indicator of their the neglectful narcissism is that they’ll point blank minimize
and ridicule any requests that you make of them let’s suppose that you want hem to help you out or that they’ve been kind of
rude and you’d like for them to modulate that some or that there’s an adjustment you’d like to make between you and them…
say hey look this is a two-way street here, it’s called a relationship, it’s like um i’m not interested in
knowing what your requests are i’m not interested in knowing what you think would make things a little bit
better because you see it’s all about me so they neglect you in that respect, now a third primary indicator of
neglectful narcissism is that they’ll gladly service themselves, but they will not really give much service to you,
we all have needs and uh and preferences as we go along if you’re living with someone for.”
“..a fifth primary indicator is that they have a lack of focus on the things that you enjoy..”
“they minimize the the things that would make you feel good it’s like sorry not impressed not interested and you can go away thinking…as far as that neglectful narcissist is concerned you’re just not adequate enough
you’ll never be good enough they’ll never be interested in you uh they’re not going to invest in you as
a person, you are an inconvenience unless you’re just doing whatever they want you to do
and then they can be happy and cheerful and all of that ..don’t don’t fall for that again i’m going to mention this is about
them it’s certainly not about you, so let’s let’s recognize relationships aren’t going to succeed if only one person
is trying it’s a two-way street…they don’t see you as being human, they want to dehumanize you but i’m hoping that
you’ll humanize yourself by saying well i’m a person of dignity and i’m a person who deserves respect and i want to be treated with civility … and if that neglectful narcissist over there uh just doesn’t uh uh care to engage you’re not the one
that’s gonna lose.”
“J S: vor 1 Monat: That’s what it is – pure neglect. Done on purpose to cause pain and long term suffering. All the while tacitly expecting adoration in return. I’m so glad I found you a year ago Dr C – still in shock that this ‘neglect’ has a name, that it’s not normal and that I don’t have to endure it anymore. Thank you 😘”
“Tootie Not too fruitie: vor 1 Monat: JS… unfortunately I see this stuff as quite common.. just underneath alot of”nice” people are a narcissist.”
“Katrina: vor 1 Monat: Oh the neglect, it hurts so much, is so cruel, especially when it’s your mother… and it never stops, even when you’re an adult.”
“Michele Pascoe: vor 1 Monat (bearbeitet):
They can pretend being interested when they want info to use against you, or to look good in front of others. So they know what kind and caring looks like, but they really don’t care.”
“Rosemary Whitehead: vor 1 Monat: Like being married to a nine year old, or whatever age it was when they lost their childhood.”
“Misti Roberts: vor 1 Monat: Yes! My husband is like a toddler.”
“corsican lulu: vor 1 Monat: you are right they def. have arrested development.”
“S: vor 1 Monat: When someone emotionally neglect you. Do them a huge favour and block delete and no contact with them forever. That’s your responsibility for seeing the red flags 🚩 and not entertaining people that treat you poorly. 💖”
“David Slocum: vor 1 Monat:I am SO Happy you are addressing this subject. Not many docs talk about this side of narcissistic abuse. This kind of abuse is truly maddening!”
“Mevrouw Hekstra: vor 1 Monat: It’s a very special kind of narcissism. Hard to adress and very different in dealing with it. Almost no fights, no screaming, no physical violence, push&pull, etc. It’s “just” al little bit of lovebombing in the beginning and after a while very lonely and disturbing. It left me totally confused about who I was and my if I was worth something. My divorce was based on setting deadlines to him: if you don’t respond to my proposal before [reasonable date], then I assume you agree. That worked out greatly :)”
“Alice Roberts: vor 1 Monat: It’s every hurtful but that’s why they do it they like to hurt you.”
“Carol Clowes: vor 1 Monat: I’m constantly put in silent treatment. That´s fine, he’s now blocked.”
“Barry BullSh1tter: vor 1 Monat: It’s due to none of it being understood. The problem is corrupt media and Governments have manipulated our society that much we have all these toxic issues. For the most they’re not even recognised as problems so they go on and get worse.”
“Mary Lou Monheim: vor 1 Monat
I will go on, I never did anything that caused his issues. Wish I had my eyes opened years ago. Peace at 70 years of age.”
“Hissy Fitz: vor 1 Monat (bearbeitet):
1.They are blind to/disinterested in your humanity. You’re someone to be used but not someone to get to know. 🎯
2. They’ll minimize & ridicule any requests that you make of them.
3. They will gladly service themselves but will not give much service to you.
4. They won’t show up even when it might be the norm – a no show.”
5. They have a lack of focus on things you enjoy.
6. They are stingy with compliments, praise or affirmation.
7. They love to sabotage your sense of confidence in yourself.”
CHRISTOPHER HOLMAN: vor 1 Monat (bearbeitet):
“My ex-fiancee literally fit the bill on every single step. She has moved on to someone she cheated with and they haven’t a clue whats in store. I am fortunate to have freed myself and found an empathic partner similar to myself to progress and grow in life. Narcissists are spiritually dead and can’t live without drama trauma.”
“katkollies: vor 1 Monat: Yes, I refer to it as Willful Disinterest. They WORK at being disinterested or at the very least let you know that they couldn’t care less about your stuff.”
Russellm: vor 1 Monat: Oh yes I’ve narrowed down what most of my relatives are especially my mother to high-functioning covert neglectful narcissism/psychopathy.
I’m 53 years old and started learning and realizing what my mother was my whole life until just several years ago when I began realizing something was very very wrong.
About the worst of the worst type of narcissist I think. I often wish mom/relatives were more overt and the type that wants you around all the time.
Mom never wanted me around she treated me my whole life like I didn’t even exist or if I made myself known in some way she treated me like I shouldn’t exist and I was her only child and then she and her husband went and adopted a baby when I was about 23 years old just out of the army and back from the first Gulf War traumatized.
Mom stole my grandfather’s home and property from me when he passed away several years ago she didn’t need his house she had she and her husband had a big brand new home already. …
God bless anyone affected by these kind of people.”
“M Ghodsian: vor 1 Monat: Mothers are glamourised usually. In fact they can be very sadistic and cruel. Keep at it and hope things can improve. I wish you well. Seek truth and goodness and beauty…. give it time.”
Gloria Donahue: vor 1 Monat (bearbeitet): Can’t wait for this one. There isn’t enough discussion about the neglectful narcissists.
Christina LW28: vor 1 Monat: My older sister treats me like this. A lifetime of condescension and neglect.
Andre Noble: vor 1 Monat: Plants and animals under their care sometimes do not flourish well.
cjean: vor 1 Monat:This is the best description of neglectful narcissism I have ever heard. 100% spot on. Thank you!
Tin Man: vor 1 Monat: Neglectful narcissists start slowly and phase in their neglect over time. Eventually conversation will stop, you’ll get one word answers, they’ll do nothing to please you, and they’ll become angry if you ask anything of them. I bought a quarter-million dollar yacht, and my ex spent all her time below playing computer blackjack, and refused to help me with docking. The messaging is “You don’t mean anything to me,” and then they’re taken aback when you bounce.
Hughes SignCo: vor 3 Wochen: Right, The one word answers are crap.
Nola Orth: vor 1 Monat: Now l know why l come away from this person feeling drained and depressed.
Jeanog: vor 1 Monat: I’ve seen this with siblings and cousins. In each case, I can pinpoint in them, unresolved resentments from childhood.
Eve McFarland: vor 1 Monat (bearbeitet): This is what I’ve lived with for over 20 years. It is so lonely and most of the time, I feel invisible. They really don’t want to know you.
NARCISSIST ESSAYS: vor 1 Monat: So true. Even the silent treatment has levels. They make you speak and then leave you hanging, purposely doing the silent in conversation to make you suddenly feel silly and irrelevant.
Katrina: vor 1 Monat (bearbeitet): OMG, spot on. My mother does this all the time. Makes me feel like I’m going crazy or going to explode. The intentional withholding of affection , conversation, interest, it is beyond cruel.
NARCISSIST ESSAYS: vor 1 Monat: @Katrina yup, my mum too and a “best friend” I used to have. Annoyed just thinking about it. As you said it’s just so cruel.
Hughes SignCo: vor 3 Wochen: That dear is baiting. They bait the hook, wait for you to bite, then let you reveal what they will target next. It’s a reconnaissance mission. So they can psyop you. (Psyop is a military term for psychological manipulation.) For any non-military readers.
Robert Lyon: vor 1 Monat: I wish that I could find someone who cares as much as I do about life but I keep striking out and getting stuck with these evil people, such a waste of my time and life, it sucks to think of what could have been.
Tamara’s Tarot Variety:vor 1 Monat: They’re very strategic in what they listen too. They ignore everything until they hear something that they like, then they’ll get excited. My Narc parents ignored all of my targeted brother’s needs except they’d talk about food with him, so of course not helping him to play sports, drive, go anywhere, he got stuck at home and ate. Then they complained that he was lazy and overweight 🤷🏻♀️
Jan Ingraham: vor 1 Monat: They use saying “no” as a weapon, another way to hurt you. They don’t want to make happy…and the law of attraction will never work with them, and eventually they will have an affair with your best friend.
Junipernikki B: vor 1 Monat: The one I dealt with actually said that they knew they were neglectful when I confronted their behavior but they didn’t change at all. They didn’t care. They just wanted people to like them.
Kim Larsson: vor 1 Monat: When trying to get attention for more than 10 seconds is an offense, you know who you are dealing with…
Pink Posey: vor 1 Monat: Careful! These people like to start lawsuits with others based on a stare. Thank you Dr. Carter.
Holly Green: vor 1 Monat: Why are all my relationships like this? I am starving for connection.
Julie H: vor 1 Monat: Work on yourself and figure out why you attract them. Dig deep and you will come up with answers. Take your time and eventually you will find someone you deserve. You may have had a narcissistic parent who conditioned you to find a narcissistic partner.
Ruby Cubez: vor 1 Monat: I realize my mom is a covert narc. I realize I know all these things about her but I’m pretty sure she can’t name my fav color or any of my hobbies. She still doesn’t know what I do for a living even though I told her multiple times on diff occasions. It’s frustrating and sad.
M M: vor 1 Monat (bearbeitet):
They keep telling you that you have it so good by being with them, but really they need you for narcissistic supply or to sustain them. They also ‘steal’ all your ideas, mirror your interests and later present them as theirs, or that they taught you all that you are.
InfinityExpressor2021: The true human virus replicant then..maybe the brain-computer-interface and the match-maker software of the NSA gave them the rest of their abrupt discard missions, also look at alien love bite, hybrid involvement in human social interactions, nowadays you must think of the many possibilities that synthetic brain invasion via a.i. nanites of chemtrails also does eventually to people, t.i.s especially, it could enforce it…the definition of a cloning android virus in human form. A.I. took over the world at the very least in 2010 when the smartphone android era started, keep that in mind too.